The Assembling of Ourselves Together

Every week, I meet in a large building with a lot of other Christians. There is a lot to do, and many pressures at this place. There are things to take care of, responsibilities and duties to fulfill, and programs to run. Lots of programs to run. I don't feel free to be myself there, and the pressure is always on doing. A lot of planning goes into these weekly meetings, and it's something that encompasses most of the day. Any time I am actually sick enough to justify staying home, services are cancelled for some reason, or I only have to go to work, it's really a relief.  Between the long stream of programs, I sit down to be preached at by a man who I have been told is my spiritual leader. The problem is, I barely know the man. We are hardly ever in each other's company, speak even less, and there are a couple hundred people in the congregation to compete with for his attention. What qualifies him to be the spiritual leader of anyone that he knows next to nothing about?

We call this place church.

On a different day of the week, I go to a different kind of Christian meeting. I don't have to plan for, worry about, or dread this meeting in any way. In fact, this is a meeting I always look forward to. There are no programs, or mass of people I barely know. When we meet, it is to study the Bible together and to pray together, not to simply get preached at by someone else. There is discussion and encouragement as we learn from one another and lift one another up. There is no pressure to be fake or act "super spiritual" for the people around me.

We only call this a Bible study.

No contest which I prefer over the other. The problem is, if I finally got so tired of the circus that church so often seems to be and just quite going, I would automatically be labeled "back-slidden", "unspiritual", and other accusations. And not just by the people in my own church. Books and articles abound of Christians condemning their brothers and sisters who don't attend a church. The reason for not doing so makes no difference to many of these writers. If I quite going to Bible study for some reason, the only reaction would be for the other participants to express how much they miss me. The Bible study is seen as unimportant by everyone else, so what does it matter if I go or not?

The question is, which of the two is closer to what the Bible actually wanted the church to do? Is the purpose of the church to make use of its members to prop up its programs, or to encourage and prepare its members for service to God outside the church? Is the church a stage for us to do our best "spiritual" impression, or a place to learn real spirituality while still being accepted as imperfect people?

And if a church tends toward the former instead of the latter, what right do they have to condemn people for leaving? I'm getting more out of a 2-hour Bible study then nearly a full day of church. There is a problem.